Islamic Guidelines or Teachings for Accepting and Rejecting a Rishta Proposal:
Here are some guidelines for accepting or rejecting a rishta proposal according to the principles of Islamic Shariah laws:
Introduction:
In Islamic culture, the concept of "rishta" refers to a marriage proposal or wedding. It's a crucial decision in a person's life, and Islam provides clear guidelines on how to approach this decision. In this article, we will explore Islamic principles for accepting or rejecting a rishta, supported by Quranic verses and Hadith references.
Seeking Allah's Guidance:
The first step in accepting or rejecting a rishta in Islam is to seek Allah's guidance. This can be done through sincere prayers (Dua) and seeking His help in making the right decision. Quranic guidance in this regard can be found in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:186), where Allah says, "And when My servants ask you concerning Me, indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me."
In Islamic tradition, marriage is a sacred bond built upon the principles of faith, character, and compatibility. While financial stability can play a role in marriage, it should not be the sole criterion for accepting or rejecting a marriage proposal. Islam encourages individuals, particularly girls, to make decisions that align with their beliefs and values while maintaining kindness and fairness in their actions.
One of the most crucial factors to consider when accepting or rejecting a rishta is religious compatibility. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of marrying someone with strong faith. In a Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, the Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So, choose the one who is religious, may you be blessed." (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Now a days it's very common in Pakistani society that preference should be given to beautiful girls with fair complexion, tall height and good professional education. More preferably a job holder girl who can support expenses.
Other two main issues which keeps arising time to time in any rishta selection is maslaq and cast. It's really common these days specially in our Muslim Society where families prefer same cast and even same maslaq for marriage. They feel hesitant in accepting a rishta of different maslaq and cast. For example, Barelvi families prefers to not marry in Deobandi and likewise Deobandi families avoid Barelvi or Ahle Sunni ones.
Another example can be taken as, Urdu Speaking Muhajir families doesn't prefer to marry in Punjabi or Sindhi families and the same practice is followed by Punjabi and Sindhi families as well. Even in some cases, Punjabi and Urdu speaking families have contradictions in their own cast system as well.
Where as our Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) has made it crystal clear already with his words at the last sermon that:
"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a White has no superiority over a Black nor a Black has any superiority over a White except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly."
"Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone."
Good character and moral values are highly valued in Islam. It is essential to look for a wife who exhibits qualities like honesty, kindness, and integrity as these attributes contribute to a strong and harmonious marriage.
Respect and kindness should be the foundation of your interactions with the woman you are considering. Islam places great emphasis on treating all individuals, especially potential spouses, with compassion and courtesy.
Additionally, Islam encourages open and honest communication in the process of considering marriage proposals. It is advisable for girls, or anyone, to communicate their concerns and expectations regarding financial matters with their potential partner before making a decision. This can lead to a better understanding of each other's values and goals.
These days, boys also facing a lot of difficulties in finding a decent rishta if their job is low paid or if they dont own a personal house and living in a rented place with family.
It's essential for girls to approach the rejection of a marriage proposal with empathy and kindness. Islam places great emphasis on treating others with respect and compassion. If a girl decides to reject a proposal based on financial concerns, it should be done in a gentle and considerate manner, without causing harm or hurt to the other person.
Rejecting a marriage proposal based on financial status may not necessarily be in accordance with our shariah teachings. It's important to assess a potential partner's character, religious devotion, and compatibility rather than focusing solely on their financial situation and bank balance.
Consultation with Family:
Islam encourages individuals to consult with their families when making important life decisions, including accepting or rejecting a rishta. Your family can provide valuable insights and guidance based on their experience and knowledge. The Quran mentions the importance of consulting in Surah Ash-Shura (42:38): "And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves, and from what We have provided them, they spend."
Getting to Know Each Other:
Before accepting or rejecting a rishta, it's essential to get to know the person better. Spend time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and assess compatibility in terms of values, goals, and lifestyles. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised companions to see each other before marriage to avoid any future misunderstandings. (Ibn Majah)
Assessing Character and Conduct:
Islam places great importance on a person's character and conduct. Look for qualities such as honesty, kindness, patience, and respect in the potential spouse. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "The best among you is the one who is the best in character and conduct." (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Seeking Advice from Trusted Persons:
Seek advice from trusted individuals in your community, such as religious scholars, elders, or close friends who have experience in matters of marriage. Their input can provide valuable perspectives and help you make an informed decision.
Istikhara Prayer:
Perform the Istikhara prayer, a specific prayer for seeking Allah's guidance in making a decision. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us to recite this prayer when facing a choice. After performing Istikhara, pay attention to your feelings and any signs that may guide you in accepting or rejecting the rishta.
Red Flags and Warning Signs:
Be vigilant for any red flags or warning signs in the potential spouse's behavior or character. If there are concerns about issues like compatibility, trust, or religious commitment, take them seriously and seek clarification. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "There is no harm in a person seeking to find out about his prospective spouse." (Ibn Majah)
Parental Consent:
In Islam, parental consent is highly regarded. While it's essential to consider your own feelings, try to work together with your parents to make the best decision. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks for your daughter in marriage, agree to his request." (Sunan Abi Dawood)
Trust Your Instincts:
Ultimately, trust your instincts and your heart when accepting or rejecting a rishta. Islam encourages the use of reason and intuition when making decisions. If something doesn't feel right, don't ignore it.
Conclusion:
Accepting or rejecting a rishta is a significant decision that requires careful consideration in Islam. By seeking Allah's guidance, assessing religious compatibility, consulting with family, getting to know each other, and following these guidelines, you can make a well-informed decision that aligns with your faith and values.
Remember that Islam emphasizes the importance of a strong, healthy, and loving marital relationship, and these principles are meant to help you achieve that.
